Judgement and Love

We just had the April 2025 General Conference I've been reflecting after hearing Neil L. Anderson’s talk from General Conference last weekend. It resonated deeply with some things I've been pondering about judgment and love, specifically how I perceive others and how that perception influences my interactions.

Over the past several years, I've come to visualize our journey of eternal progression as climbing ladders—each person with their own ladder, uniquely designed. Some ladders have more rungs, others fewer. Sometimes the steps are close together, making progress easier; other times they’re spaced far apart, requiring us to stretch and reach, often beyond what seems possible. Occasionally, we might slip a step or two and have to climb again to regain our former footing.

Reflecting on Christ’s teachings, particularly in Matthew 7:1-2, where He admonishes, "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged," I’m reminded that our judgment must be grounded in empathy and mercy rather than harsh criticism.

Christ’s commandment to "love one another; as I have loved you" (John 13:34) emphasizes that love and compassion should always guide our interactions. However, when we encounter the mistakes or sins of others, our instinctive reaction can often be critical judgment or emotional withdrawal. Deep down, I think this comes from a misguided desire to control situations or influence others to align with our expectations. But this reaction directly conflicts with the Savior’s teachings about love and personal agency.

This approach—seeking to control through harsh judgment—is troublingly reminiscent of Satan’s original plan, described in Moses 4:1-3, where he intended to force obedience and negate individual agency. If we become overly critical or condemning, we risk becoming obstacles that hinder others' spiritual journeys instead of helping them return to Christ. Rather than encouraging repentance, our judgmental attitudes might inadvertently push others further away, limiting their experience of Christ’s transformative love.

Doctrine and Covenants 64:9-10 offers guidance here, reminding us that judgment and ultimate justice are solely God’s domain: "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." Thus, our default response to the sins or shortcomings of others should be forgiveness and compassionate support. Harsh judgment and emotional penalties, on the other hand, lead us into our own sins of pride and self-righteousness—perhaps more dangerous spiritually than those we initially sought to correct.

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf wisely counseled, "Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you do." Everyone’s journey toward Christ is unique, and our responsibility lies not in hindering but in aiding each person’s path.

Returning to my ladder analogy, I’ve been exploring how to apply these principles practically in my daily life—how I can tangibly guide my thoughts and actions towards greater love and less judgment. Realistically, we cannot climb someone else's ladder for them, but we can lend a steadying hand when we're securely positioned ourselves. Perhaps we can offer the support that prevents them from slipping, or even just encourage and cheer them on. Sometimes, all we can provide is our heartfelt prayers and genuine love. At the very least, we must commit to never being a stumbling block but instead offer kindness, even when it’s neither reciprocated nor accepted.

In my experience, striving to increase my capacity to love others is bringing me deep joy. Sure, there have been moments of sadness and loneliness, especially when love isn't reciprocated. But there is profound comfort and fulfillment in the making the effort to see others as God might see them.

This approach has also deepened my awareness of my own weaknesses and sins—my own ladder and struggles. It brings to mind Christ’s parable in Matthew 18 about the unforgiving servant who, having been forgiven a great debt, failed to extend similar mercy. Like that debtor, I recognize how deeply I depend on Christ’s mercy and forgiveness, which humbles me and reminds me of my need for personal repentance. At the same time, it fills me with hope, knowing Christ extends to me the compassion He expects me to offer others. Recognizing my own frailties dissolves my desire to judge others harshly. I can definitely see the gaps with where I am versus where I need to be. But it's definitaely something I can work on.

We are taught that our greatest joy come with our alignment with Christ - and we come closer by extending supportive love rather than critical judgment. By choosing compassion and kindness, we facilitate spiritual growth—both ours and others’—drawing us all closer to eternal life.